Loving East
by SerpentMk2
Summary: Robin doesn't know what he wants in his life, then Speedy comes along.
1. Chapter 1

comments greatly appreciated, and new chapters coming soon :)

--

I

Peace, at last. It isn't often there is a quiet moment in titans tower, with Beast Boy and Cy's constant arguments. Not to mention the endless chatter of Starfire, she always got on my nerves. I never did like her all that much.

I sat on the couch in the main room. Alone. There wasn't much to do these days. After Slade was finally taken down, the criminal rates in the city plummeted. Of course there was the occasional robbery here and there, but nothing that the police couldn't handle. To put it in simple terms, I was bored and in pain.

Well, not pain, pain. Just emptiness is all. An intense sense of longing. For someone next to me, for someone to hold me. Protect me, but, being the boy wonder, it was always expected to be the other way around. I was the one protecting, because I was the leader. There was no possible way anyone could be the one keeping _me _safe and keeping _me _warm. I guess that was the way it was supposed to be. I figure that it is the way, and no one can ever change it. Not even me.

I let out a very, very large sigh, just as the door to the common room slid open.

Perfect timing.

"Yo, bird boy!" Cy's voice thundered through the tower, I guess my peace was over. For now.

"Hey, Cy. How was the movie?" I inquired. No reason to act gloomy, I decided. It would only raise questions.

"Just the greatest, scariest, funniest, most awesome, gory movie EVER!" Cy whirled his hands in the air to maximize the effect. He then turned to Beast Boy and engaged in an energized conversation about the best parts, best actors, and best girls of the movie.

Raven took this opportunity and retreated to her room, someone like her can only take so much of those two. I was beginning to wonder if _anyone _could take much of them at all.

Another sigh as I got up and stalked off to my room.

Half way down the hall leading to my room I was stopped by an anxious looking Starfire. I raised an eyebrow.

"Robin! I was wondering if you would wish to go out to dinner with me tonight. We were walking back and I saw this wonderful looking restaurant that is partaking in the 'grand opening.'"

I blinked. Was Starfire asking me on a date? I thought I made it clear to her that we were over. It had never worked out. The only reason I went out with her in the first place was in a futile attempt to cure this loneliness. When I realized it didn't work, I immediately broke up, not even leaving her with a first kiss. I guess I shouldn't make this hard on her, but she's making things so complicated.

"Sorry, Star, I have some work to catch up on. Maybe some other time?" Hah, work. I hadn't had any work in months.

"May I assist in this work?" Star asked, using her best puppy face.

It never did work on me. "Its more of something I need to work on alone, ya know?" She nodded, and I walked on past her. When I reached my door, I called back to her, "Thanks for the offer though, much appreciated."

I stepped into my room, door closing behind me. One glance at the clock, five o'clock. Late enough. Sleeping was the only thing I could think of doing right now. Without further thought, I jumped into bed.

--

I was woken up by Cyborg.

"Cy, cant you let me sleep a little longer. Its not like we have any plans today." I was groggy, I could barely see. So sleepy, need more.

"Dude, its three in the afternoon! You have to get up sometime." The phone rang. "Hold that thought, I'll be right back."

My heart rushed. Three in the afternoon? How could I sleep that long? I quickly did the mental calculation, twenty-two hours, and still sleepy. Its not like I had anything to do but sleep. So why not get some more. My mind was giving up. Because I didn't think I had anything to live for, sleeping was my body's way of passing the time left until I die so many years from now. This had better not be thew way I spend my life. I --

My thought was interrupted. I fell back to sleep. Not for very long though. Good ol' Cy, shook me awake. "I leave you alone for two minutes and you go back to a deeper sleep than BB! Thats not even possible. Anyway, lets get you up." He helped me out of bed. "Do you always sleep in that?"

I looked down at my outfit. I must have forgotten to take that off. "I guess I was just tired last night. I forgot to take it off..." I drifted off towards the end.

"Dude, you don't look so good. We shouldn't have let you sleep that long!" He smiled and added, "Who knew sleep could be so bad for you. Lets get you something to eat, shall we?"

"Sure." I mumbled as we trudged to the kitchen.

"Oh, by the way, Titans East called. I invited them over until their tower is rebuilt. Some nasty tsunami type thing. Everything is so unpredictable over there, ya know?"

"When are they arriving?" I asked.

"They'll probably be here in," He glanced down at built-in watch, "one hour, twenty-five minutes and six seconds. Approximately."

That got me awake. "That soon!? Why didn't you tell me?" I have to take a shower get the entire tower cleaned up, make up the guest bathrooms... god, what am I thinking? They're teenagers too. They can handle some mess. Relief flooded through me. It would be nice to make up their rooms for them though. "Get their rooms ready. I'm going to take a shower."

"Not before we get some food in you!"

"Deal."

--

Everything was finally ready. Now all we needed was for them to actually get here. Its not like they were late or anything, I'm just paranoid like this. I was waiting in the front room, tapping my foot, when Cyborg walked by. Obviously impatience is one of my many lovely features.

"Dude, chill alright? They get here when they get here." he paused. "why... why you so eager, man?"

I shrugged, its not like I had anything better to do. Actually now that I thought about it, why was I so eager?

I turned to Cyborg. "Its just we haven't had much action around here lately, ya know? I'm hoping they'll help bring this place to life."

"It might just be you making your life boring, did you ever think of it that way?" I blinked. What was he saying? "We go to movies, places, heck we even went on that trip to Hawaii, but you never come with us. Have some fun once in a while, even if it isn't fighting crime, its still fun." He's right. Of course he's right. I have to stop feeling sorry for myself. "I know you know Star has a giant crush on you. Why don't you ask her to go somewhere sometime?"

Star? About Star, I love her, as a sister though. She doesn't fill the space inside me. Nor does just having fun with friends. Thats why I don't participate. Whenever I do something with them it leaves me feeling emptier.

"Thanks, Cy. Your right. I'll be sure to kick back from now on."

"Anytime, man. We should have a party sometime. Ya know, to help you get started on your life of fun." He smiled and walked off with a look of accomplishment on his, mostly metal, face.

I sighed. So much sighing these days. I'm so -

My thought was interrupted by a loud knock. I raced to get the door. Good timing they had, I was about to go into one of my long trains of thought. Thinking never got me anywhere these days. Save for further into my depression.

--

"Hey Robin!" Bumble Bee had a huge smile on her face. "Thanks so much for letting us stay here"

"Anytime." I mumbled as she walked straight past me and into the common room. Obviously she didn't care much about manners. Aqualad, Más and Menos came in after her, with a nice hello.

Then came speedy. Had he gotten taller? His was... It looked perfect. He walked with the utmost grace, I was mesmerized by the way his muscles moved. Oh god, that smile. It seemed to dig right through my skin. I couldn't shake the feeling. He was just, beautiful. He. Was. A. Guy.

When he passed, I got a nod and a smile. A lovely nod and smile. God, I needed to be hit in the head.

Was he glowing?

"Hey, you alright?" That voice, did it come from him? It was angelic. Wait, what was I doing?

"Um, yeah why?"

"You were just standing there. Staring at me."

Shit.


	2. Chapter 2

even though its half the size of the first chapter, here it is.

again, comments and criticisms greatly appreciated. next chapter already in the works :)

--

II

"Oh." I practically whispered. Looking at his face was all I could do at the moment. It wrapped me up, controlled every muscle and every bone in my body. My vision was blurred to the point of dizziness.

How much more of this could I take?

He raised one perfectly shaped eyebrow. God, all this beauty was too much for one person to soak in at once. I felt sick.

"You don't look so good. You feeling okay?" A musical voice. It seemed like he was singing every sentence. Every word only tightened his grip on my neck. I couldn't breathe now.

"I have to go." I said breathlessly, and ran off past him, headed for the only place I could find peace - my room. Though I don't know if he could hear me... I could barely hear myself.

When I got to my room I thought I could have some quiet time to think, to ponder my new obsession. It wasn't even funny how wrong I was.

Cyborg, Starfire, and Speedy all came through the door at once, resulting in a less-than graceful entrance. It was much louder than it needed to be in here. I needed time to myself. I didn't need anyone's attention, especially _his_.

I'm praying to god it was just the initial shock of it that got to me. Though I was sure it wasn't.

The perfection seemed inhuman. Being in his presence was overwhelming, his looks stunned you. His scent left you intoxicated. His smile was enough to leave you breathless.

As if the noise of them entering wasn't enough, Cyborg and Starfire both pummeled me with questions regarding my weak stomach. Through all of this, Speedy stayed in the corner of the room without a word. Still glowing, sparkling, even in my dark room. I couldn't take much more of this loud noise, I'll probably throw up any second. That probably wont shut them up any though. Maybe if I-

"Guys, Its pretty obvious he wants to be left alone. Lets give him some time. I'm sure if he needs help he'll call for us." Speedy gave them a look that would have any normal teenager too petrified to do anything besides follow his orders.

Cy blinked. Then headed for the door. He knew he wouldn't be able to get anything out of me anyway. I was too out of it to think straight.

Star hesitated. She gave me a thoughtful look, then left. Mumbling something to Speedy as she walked out.

Which left Speedy. He stood there with his arms crossed, just staring at me. His expression unreadable. What couldn't have been more than a few seconds seemed like years with him.

He left without a glance back, nor a word to treasure in my mind for later playback.

I've been saved by an angel. Finally, alone. But was alone something I wanted?

To my dismay, his absence hurt more than his presence.

The night was restless, no sleep for this superhero. His words, few as they were, echoed in my head nonstop. If my insides melt when I'm near him and my heart is ripped out when I'm without him, what am I supposed to do?

I loved him, but how could I survive in life feeling like this?

Yeah, I'm going insane. I haven't even spent an hour with him, and I already feel like this?

I couldn't stop thinking of him long enough to realize the sun was coming up. I shook myself out of my fantasy long enough to glance at the clock. At exactly 6:34 in the morning, it hit me; Speedy could never love me back.

I forgot to breathe for a total of four minutes, then I blacked out.

Can you guess who I dreamt of?


	3. Chapter 3

Oops... I forgot

Sorry, and please review!

--

III

There was only Roy Harper, one angelic being. At first, but it didn't last long. My brain decided that it was not what I needed, it was right. His face blew up in confetti, which turned to rain drops, which now poured from the heavens.

I underwent hallucinations, horrific hallucinations. Death, blood, and worse; the black nothingness that emulated my empty heart. It was comparable to Raven's mind, what I had seen of it, anyway. Actually, deep down Raven was a rather bright person. Way, way deep down. But it didn't matter how buried it was under her charred, gnarled surface, because it was indeed there. The sleep enveloped, it squeezed my lungs and picked at my eyes. Was I being dissected by my own pain? Between the visions, I did my best and clearest thinking. In sleep I could block out all other human interventions and focus on what I, myself, truly thought. Not that it made my blinded love any less hopeless and psychotic.

Everything but the nothing was nonexistent, confusing, right? The flames, the puddles of blood on the cracked sidewalks of an abandoned city populated by silhouettes, they were the fever and my body working it out. Or thats what I suspected. Nothing in human consciousness can ever be solid, however. The scene started to melt away, disintegrating before my dreaming eyes. The heat had peaked, blackness from now on. The buildings collapsed and the debris were carried away by an invisible storm. Throughout the destruction I kept a straight path, a constant pace, and when all but the sidewalk had vanished I knew the fits were over. It was time for the subconscious thinking and reasoning to kick in. Now it wasn't left up to me, the lucid dream had ended. I stumbled off a metaphysical cliff into an endless free fall and when I woke up I was finally sane. Almost.

I woke up thinking of him, obviously. My mind was filled with Speedy and he left almost no space in my mind for anything else. Consumed, but not in a life threatening addiction. It was a mild throbbing compared to before. Sleep always works. I had put this new obsession into perspective during the night, and there it would stay. I'd have to keep an eye on it, however. This was after not seeing him for... how long?

I opened my eyes to glance at my clock, but it wasn't there. Instead of the expected wooden table with the known digital clock with its glowing neon green lights, there was a metal stool next to my bed. My bed? White sheets, metal frame, softer, I sunk at least three inches deeper into the warm fluff of the mattress than normal. Not my bed. Where am I? Automatically alert, the result of years of experience, I sat up and gathered in my surroundings. Metal walls, metal carts, computers, and state-of-the-art hospital equipment, and chrome everything. The Titan's infirmary.

_Why am I here?_

I read the clock, which had to be wrong. Either I had been asleep for only three hours, or a day and three hours. I picked myself up off of the bed and realized there were boatloads of monitoring wires and equipment clinging to my chest. Ripping them off, I stumbled down off the bed, instantly regretting it. The room blurred, my legs weren't strong enough to carry my body. It like they hadn't been moved in days. I collapsed and hit my head on the stool. Pain followed, that damn chair. Why the hell was it there, anyway? My bare skin on the freezing ground ached, and I quickly picked myself up. Then I realized. How naked was I? Instinctively, I reached for my face, and followed with a sigh of relief. My mask still rested on my eyes. But something else caught my attention. A burning heat. Where was it coming from? My forehead felt like it was on fire.

_Come to think of it..._

My hands grazed all over my body, and everywhere I touched there was a burning heat. My skin was on fire. Now I realized. The fever wasn't only in my head, my body truly was trying to work this out. The human body is more complex than it's credited with, isn't it? It subconsciously reacts to situations, it _wants_ to keep the soul inside. The body needs life, or it's just an empty bag. Life needs the body, or it's just a wandering hope.

_Why are any of us here?_

I had just about enough of these questions, it's time for answers. I wouldn't get them by standing here in the infirmary. I spotted my clothes folded neatly in the far corner of the room. I took my time putting them on, partly because my skin was extremely sensitive, and partly because I was still dizzy, but I packed the fever into the back of my mind, and forced my weak body to forget about it. I put on my pants and slid the shirt on, and when I turned around I nearly fell backwards.

"Hello, Robin. Glad to see you up and about." Raven said.

I blinked. How long had she been here? Well, that doesn't matter so much as to _why _was she here? Raven only confronted people if she had something important to say, and if it was important to Raven, it was life-determining to you. What did she know?

"Even though you shouldn't _be _up." She raised an eyebrow.

"I feel fine."

"You cant lie to me, Robin. You should know that. Anyway, thats not why I came here. Cyborg should be up here any moment to check on you, so I have to make this quick. I know what you've been going through. I just wanted to tell you that..." She paused. Raven? Hesitant? She turned towards the door and tapped her foot, looking anxious. She finally turned back to me, and that moment the door to the infirmary opened.

"Never mind." She vanished, leaving me bewildered and in awe. Had she planned that?

Cyborg looked at the empty bed, then whirled around to see me, and the rapidly shrinking remanence of Raven's black aura, and muttered something like; "Of course _she _would." Obviously not intentioned for me to hear. He looked up and said, "Glad to see you awake, dude. Come get something to eat, will you? I can't stand an hour without eating, much less three days."

"Three _days_?" To work him out of my system. Reasonable.

"Reasonable for the flu, but normally people wake up every so often." He chuckled, "Come on, I'm sure everyone will be happy to see you." Cyborg said. The flu? Was that what was tampering with my emotions? I hoped, but I also doubted it.

--

My hopes vanished as I walked, or tripped, into the titans common room. Speedy was still glowing, reflecting the light that poured in through the giant window and bathing the room. Other than him, it was a pretty average scene. Starfire watching Beastboy play some game involving monkeys and lasers, Raven reading a worn book, the rest of the teens lounging around. When I entered, all but one pair of eyes turned to meet mine, and all but one mouth uttered words of sincere relief. What is this, was he ignoring me now?

"What took you so long, lazy ass?" Bumblebee asked.

The banter continued for about ten minutes, then went back to the normal. I decided to take a chance, take a leap. Why not? He cant be cold to my face without raising questions, or could he? There was something these people weren't telling me. There was something in the way they talked, looked, interacted with me. They were holding something back. Raven eyed me while I walked over to the couch and sat myself down next to Speedy I muttered a "Sup?"

He smiled at me, whether it was genuine or not I couldn't tell. I was blinded. "Sorry, I have to go use the bathroom. Please excuse me." But blind as I was, it sounded rehearsed. He got up and left the room, and I gave Raven, who was still observing, a questioning look. Now he hates me.

"No, thats not it." Raven said, reading my thoughts, then she left too. I sat there the remaining few hours until the sun went down, and I people watched, caught up with the rest of the team. Not much had happened in the three days, but again I sensed them holding back on me. It wasn't obvious, and I could have just been imagining it, but the encounter with Raven only expanded my questioning. One by one the titans left for bed. A wasted day, just like the others. The last titan, Aqualad, was heading off to bed.

"Do you know why he's like that?" I blurted the last thought that came to my mind, without thinking. I was so stupid nowadays, no self control.

"Sorry." He muttered, there was nothing sorry in his voice. Under his breath he added a voiceless "creep." and left out the door. Did they all think that I was a creep now? What was going on?

How rude. These people underestimate my acute senses, and my stubbornness. I'll find out sooner or later, but probably sooner. I headed through the winding halls of Titans Tower towards my room, and halfway there someone tapped my shoulder. The soft touch was too light to be one of the boys, and it had a feeling behind it I knew only one person could give off.

"What's going on, Raven?" I asked in mid-turnaround.

"Nothing you could have helped. I'm sorry for Roy's behavior." Who was she to call him that? Who was she to even know that? "While you were... out, he sat by your side for a long time, on that stool you hit your head on. He felt protective towards you, maybe even a little responsibility. Until..."

"Until what?" He sat next to me? Protective? Over the boy wonder? Not possible, yet I had never known Raven to tell a lie, or to misread someone. She was right, but what did it mean? I needed to know, before I fell asleep standing up. After being awake for only five hours I was already tired.

"We agreed not to tell you this, but I felt you should know. You... started talking in your sleep." She said.

"Oh." Blood rushed to my face. Everything was put into perspective. Not knowing what to do, we stood awkwardly for just a moment, and on the brink of tears I rushed off towards my room. No one could see me cry, not even Raven. Sleep was always the answer, but running away was what I always did. Maybe I should try something new. Another day, I decided. My willpower was in shards scattered across the floor where Roy had dropped it. I collapsed onto my bed, and again fell into feverish sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Soooo... I'm pretty much the slowest writer on fanfiction, am i not? More action in this chapter! Read on!

--

IV

I opened my eyes, only to be greeted by darkness. I wanted to jump up, walk out into the Titan's common room and have everything be back to normal. But the world had different plans for me. In sickness my thoughts thrive. My mind is awake, but my body is still transfixed in sleep. I do not open my eyes, but instead I shut them tight, blocking out the biased judgements that seep through my barriers. The brain does weird things while it's asleep, I conclude. Through my desire, I actually confessed in my sleep. I don't want to know what I said, it would just bring more embarrassment.

_Embarrassment_.

Is that really all I am fighting for? It's so childish, so stereotypical, not something I want to be.

So I pick myself up out of the bed and pull myself together. My fever has faded almost completely, and I haven't been outside Titans Tower for days, fresh air is what I need most right now. I glance out my window and by the looks of things, I can tell it is going to be a beautiful morning. If I hurry I might be able to catch the sunrise on top of the Tower, one of the most glorious sites in the world.

As well balanced as I am in fights, when the adrenaline isn't flowing, I'm not flowing. I trip up all the 5 flights of stairs, thinking the elevator would be disruptive to the other Titan's sleep. When I reach the top, I quietly open the door to the roof. And then my heart stops beating all together. What is _he_ doing up here? Doesn't he sleep until twelve in the afternoon like the rest of them? I suppose I haven't been lucid long enough to realize it. What to do? What do do...

The door opened the rest of the way in silence, and I stared at the beauty in front of me. Roy was sitting, gazing into the sunrise. The shadows are extending, the brilliant colors are appearing. I don't know how long I stood there, and was unaware of my own presence until I did something that surprised even myself. I took a step forward, I wouldn't regret it.

The boy glanced towards me. Absolutely none of the resentment that emanated from him the night before was present on his face. He even sported a faint smile. The dim sunlight made his eyes glimmer, and in those eyes I saw more depth than anything I've seen in my life. He patted the spot next to him, a signal for me to come sit with him. So I walk over, but the closer I get to him the fuzzier my vision becomes.

_I will not succumb._ _Enough is enough!_

The world snapped back into perspective, and I began walking again. I remained coherent as I sat down next to him, a new feat for me. I smiled back. I watched him looking into the sunrise, no words were being spoken simply because there were no words to speak. I felt it was one of those rare moments where absolutely everything was understood. I had to remember that he would never feel the same understanding, however. I divert my eyes, and watch the sunrise with him. It has yet to reach the peak of it's beauty, the full extent of the vivid colors and elongated shadows.

After what seemed like hours, but was probably only seconds, Roy broke the silence with a standard: "Glad you're feeling better," but to me it seemed like much more. I respond with a nod and another standard: "Did you sleep well?" Then he surprises me with something definitely not in the handbook for friendly morning communication.

"Actually I didn't sleep much. I was thinking about you."

How many times was this boy planning on breaking my heart? This couldn't be happening, now he's just playing with me. Its no use complaining though, because I'm above him I'll play along.

"What about me?"

"I don't know, but I'll be sure to let you know once I do. The mornings are my favorite time of day, something about the new beginning just fills me up to the brim with warmth. Here especially, do you come her often?"

Strange. "Most every morning," I respond, "the Titan sunrise is one of the best."

He smiles at me, genuine. At least I think it's genuine, but what would I know? Now we're sitting closer than we've ever been, and I feel his warmth next to me. I resist the urge to touch him. The sun is almost completely up, and Roy finally gets up. He gives me a pat on the head before turning to leave, but that set me over the edge. Sparks, I'm sure he noticed. He had to have noticed. My barriers crumbled at that point, my self restraint collapsed, and I succumbed.

I shot up out of my seat, and grabbed the boy's hand, his angelic hand, because I couldn't stand even the thought of him leaving. He wheels around, and stares at me with a confused face. He was contemplating something. I know what he'll resolve. I know he could never return my feelings. Its just another case of unrequited love. I begin to cry, right there. In front of another person, for the first time in my life. But through this, his eyes twinkle.

I struggle for words. "Roy, I..." And with that, my wishes are answered. I thought it was a gift, but afterword I realized it was a curse. Nothing comes without a price.

He pulls me into a tight embrace, and gives me a peck on the lips.

_He kissed me. _

I stay enclosed in his wonderful arms forever, it seems. I'm finally protected, finally loved. All I ever wanted has been given to me by this single gesture. Now comes the payment.

The door to the rooftop bursts open and the Titans come pouring out.

And he pushes me away.


	5. Chapter 5

Haha. Its comical how slowly I write. Hope I haven't lost you guys! I apologize. But now its summer time and I might possibly be able to make an update more often than bi-annually.

* * *

V

A million things happen at once. A million questions are silently asked, a million conclusions are drawn, and a million tears were suppressed in a mere instant. I felt my skin tingling, the feeling of Roy's lips pressing against mine lingered still. A lump formed in my throat and my vision blurred for an instant. Composure somehow found me, though. Well, sort of. Things were happening a bit to quickly for me to comprehend. Suddenly everything was moving in slow motion, er, fast motion. I don't really know what kind of motion you'd call this. It was surreal. It was peculiar. I felt almost warm. My thoughts were jumbled, my train of thoughts was not really a train. More of a train wreck. My senses were dulled, too. He's a drug.

Raven winked at me as she passed. She knew what had just happened. Great. But what about the others?

"Aw, look at little Robbie. He's turning bright red! We didn't walk in on anything, did we?" Bumblebee gave a sly smile turned around to walk towards the volleyball court. I couldn't evaluate the sarcasm in that statement. Was it a "we know about all this." sarcasm, or a "haha it's funny because Robin and Speedy are so manly they could never be gay." sarcasm? The others were sporting huge grins. I tried to laugh along, I tried to fake it. I tried to make my face un-red. Sadly, it doesn't work that way. I grew redder still.

An instant passed and the Titans were scattered on the deck, playing a heated game of volleyball. No big deal. It was like any other lazy sunday afternoon. Afternoon? I looked up at the sky. It must be at least noon already, I woke up later than I thought. Or the morning encounter lasted longer than I thought. Morning encounter? Hasn't even begun to sink in yet. I'll sort out what happened later. Now I need to find my focus. Easier said than done, though.

Another instant passed and Speedy and I were playing along beside them. No big deal. I tried not to seem too spacey, I tried not to encourage too many questions. I needed to get off of this roof. Too many people had been added to an already overwhelming moment in time. This is too much to handle. There was a buzzing in my ear now. Faint, but it was there. Things around me were moving a little too fast. A lot too fast. Suddenly it was like the world was set on fast forward all around me, yet i was stuck here baffled and in pause mode.

Another instant passed and a started screeching. Titan's indicator lights blinked. Something wrong? Damn. Now I might really have to work out of this daze.

We rushed down the few flights of stairs to ground level.

A quick check on the Titans computer confirmed the threat. A bank was being robbed, still no big deal. We played a quick game of rock paper scissors to see who went to ensure the police handle everything nicely. Speedy ended up losing, and left to take care of it.

"I'll make quick work of this." He had said.

Finally, this leaves me time to let things soak in. I receded into my bedroom, claiming that I needed to get some work done, which wasn't a complete lie. I threw myself onto my bed, and I payed close attention to the way my body was sinking into the mattress. I couldn't help but compare it to the way I'm falling into a vat of boiling hot love, real love, for that boy.

He kissed me.

What does it mean? Was it out of passion? Compassion? Could it be both?

I draw in a breath slowly, inhaling the scent of freshly laundered sheets. This is all real. I'm awake, I'm conscious. Speedy. Kissed. Me. No big deal. Suddenly I was imagining doing things with him. Real things. Real couple-y things like going out on dates and watching the stars on warm summer nights. I day dreamed of a time when kissing him really would be no big deal. Would there ever be a time like that? Would I always want to melt like that when he holds me in his arms and presses his lips against mine? I don't know, but if there is a God he'd let me find out.

I doze.

I hear hurried footsteps outside my door, then a knock.

"Robin? Robin!" Starfires voice. I pick myself up and hurry over to open the door.

"Something wrong, Star?" I ask

"Its Speedy. He's hurt! We must travel to the hospital immediately!"

"Speedy? Hurt? H-How?" I hiccuped, "What's wrong? What's wrong wrong with him Star?"

I choke these words out. What trouble could Roy have possibly gotten himself into in a mere bank robbery? This didn't sound right to me. Starfire sounded scared though, and she hurried away without answering me. I rushed behind her and encounter some other worried-looking titans on my way to the garage. I jumped onto my motorcycle. The scare factor was mounting.

No one will tell us anything. They say that we have to be patient until Speedy comes out of surgery. We wait for hours and until the doctor comes out to tell us he has stabilized. Stabilized? What the hell happened to him? The doctor says he has some serious burns and bruises but some recovery he should be fine. He's still sleeping, but one of us is now allowed to go into his room to sit by his side. I volunteer first.

I take a few steps into his room, anxious to see the damage. His face was spared. He had a black eye. The rest of his upper torso, the only part not covered by sheets and casts, was less fortunate. Three long gashes, like Wolverine from the X-Men claw marks, went from his right shoulder to the other side of his chest. His skin was severely burnt on the left side and both his arms were in braces.

What the hell happened?

Of all the great timing, the enormity of everything that had happened today sunk in. I slumped down in the chair next to his bed and sobbed into my hands. I cried for what seemed like a full half an hour, until my tears were interrupted by that angelic voice.

"Don't cry Robbie. I don't like it when you cry. What happened to me, it's

no

big

deal.

"


End file.
